How to Revive the Art of Hanging Out

Imagine that today it is harder to find a place to simply be, without the obligation to consume or move around quickly. Allie Conti put it this way: “Venues have become too expensive or designed to prevent us from truly pausing.” Think about it: even the most beautiful parks, like New York's High Line, seem designed to be traversed, not experienced. This changes everything. The idea that “going out” means buying something or rushing from one commitment to the next is robbing us of true free time—the kind of time when unexpected conversations happen. Here's the twist: we think the problem is not having time, but in reality, what's missing is precisely a place where time can be wasted without guilt. Going back to “hanging out” is not nostalgia; it is a social necessity. Allie Conti tried to solve this problem by looking for a “third place,” a third space where she didn’t need to pay the price of social admission. She says she found it, almost by chance, when she walked into a simple, no-frills bar on her own. She had no one to go with, but that didn't stop her. The result? An evening that seemed to have been waiting for her for a long time, filled with conversation and unexpected encounters. Julie Beck, on the other hand, spent three years interviewing friends and discovered that the strongest bonds don't come from planned get-togethers, but from hours spent together, aimlessly. And Rhaina Cohen puts it even more bluntly: We adults think it's enough to “meet for coffee,” but we forget that, as children, friendships were built by playing, wasting time, and making things up together. And here comes a sobering fact: according to Derek Thompson, Americans today spend more time alone than at any other point in recent history. This is not only changing our habits, but also the way we perceive reality and politics. But there is one perspective that is missing: the fear of being bored. We often avoid places where we might find ourselves alone because we fear emptiness, but boredom is actually the gateway to new friendships and ideas. If you think about it, the best moments with friends were rarely planned—they were breaks, detours, aimless afternoons. A phrase to keep in mind: Time well spent is time that seems wasted. If you felt that this idea resonated with you, on Lara Notes you can press I'm In — it's not a like; it's your way of saying: This perspective is now mine, too. But when you tell someone how rare it is these days to find a place to be without rushing, you can mark the conversation with Shared Offline—on Lara Notes, that's the way to say that the moment really mattered. That was The Atlantic: I saved you almost five minutes of reading.