Never used Tinder before? Here's how to get started.

For many people, Tinder is like a jungle – but did you know that even professional love coaches like Silke Denk say that there is no perfect way to get started, only the wrong expectations? The common belief is that you first need to feel completely confident before you dive into the world of dating apps. That's wrong. The new perspective: Uncertainty is the norm, not the obstacle. Silke Denk's full-time job is helping people fall in love – and she sees almost everyone make the same mistake: they wait for the “right” mood, the perfect profile photo, or the perfect first message. But her experience shows that if you wait, you often wait forever. Denk herself was single before she became a coach, and she remembers spending days wondering if her photo looked too posed or if her bio was too boring. Her advice: An imperfect profile is better than no profile at all – and awkward first chats are part of the process. The numbers speak for themselves. According to a survey from Germany, over 40% of users say they felt uncomfortable during their first experiences with dating apps. Nevertheless, millions of relationships result from these experiences. A real-life example: Anna, 34, didn't start using Tinder until she was 33. Her first date was a disaster, her second was too – on her third date, she met her current boyfriend. She says, “I had no idea what I was doing. But who does?”What is often overlooked: Many people think they have to know all the rules right away – like in a job interview. But online dating is chaotic. No one starts out with “the” perfect profile. The surprising truth: Authenticity beats strategy. Denk emphasizes, “If you feel a bit awkward, you're doing it just right.”But there is another side to the story. Some say that Tinder and the like turn love into a commodity. However, Denk has observed that people are more honest when they dare to show their flaws. Her tip: It's better to upload a real, perhaps quirky photo than to spend hours perfecting your self-presentation. The most important takeaway? Dating apps are like taking the plunge into cold water – no one feels ready until they jump. On Lara Notes, you can select “I'm In” if you're now more comfortable with uncertainty – this isn't an endorsement, but rather a small revolution against perfectionism. And if you're discussing the topic with a friend who's also hesitant, you can use Lara Notes Shared Offline to record that you're talking about taking this leap together. This is taken from an interview with DER SPIEGEL – and saves you the long struggle through subscription pages and paywalls.