Why is it so hard to change your mind?

Tolstoy once wrote that you can explain the most difficult things even to the least intelligent person, as long as they don't yet have an opinion on the matter. However, even the simplest thing becomes impossible to explain to the most intelligent person if they are convinced, without the slightest doubt, that they already know everything. Here's the paradox: Changing one's mind is not only rare, it is often seen as a sign of weakness. But psychology says otherwise. We are used to thinking that people don't change their minds because they are stubborn or not very open-minded, period. In reality, the real obstacle is emotional fatigue. Changing your mind hurts your ego: you risk feeling embarrassed, losing face, or even undermining your very identity. So the brain goes into defense mode: it looks for excuses, clings to old beliefs, and sometimes even distorts logic. But here's the key: those who can handle emotional discomfort, those who are more aware of their emotions, are also able to change their minds more easily. Take Stephanie Dolbier, a psychologist at UCLA. Her research shows that mental flexibility is not just a matter of intelligence, but also of tolerance for discomfort. People who can describe their emotions in a more nuanced way—not just “I'm fine” or “I'm not fine,” but “I'm frustrated because I can't express myself,” or “I'm afraid of sounding stupid”—are also able to see things from multiple perspectives. And this isn't just theory. Philip Tetlock, at the University of Pennsylvania, found that the best “superforecasters” – people who can predict geopolitical events better than others – are precisely those who change their minds most often in the face of new evidence. They do not identify with their own theories. They have learned not to feel threatened when they realize they are wrong. One of the most striking examples comes from a study on highly sensitive topics, such as the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. Some participants learned to respond “like scientists,” that is, by pretending for a few minutes to be analytical, not emotional. After this little act, they were already more open to changing their perspective. And the effect was still present five months later. Another technique is to remember that your identity is not defined by a single opinion. If, during a discussion, you remind yourself that you are also a good friend, a creative person, or that you have a sense of humor, the threat of changing your mind is reduced. However, this only works if you are already aware of your biases. Again, it's all about changing your frame: you can view discomfort not as a sign of failure, but as a muscle that is growing. Studies show that people who remember that they can improve their cognitive abilities are more willing to listen to opposing ideas and change their minds. Here’s the detail that no one notices: resistance to change is not just stubbornness, but an emotional skill that can be trained. And you don't need to meditate for hours a day: a short mental mantra or an extra moment of self-awareness is enough. However, there is one aspect that is rarely discussed: people who change their minds are often judged by their social group as inconsistent or insecure, even though science says otherwise. And this social stigma carries a lot of weight, especially online. Changing your mind is not a sign of weakness. It's proof that you can handle the discomfort of being human. If you want to see who you really are, try questioning your certainties. If this perspective has stirred something inside you, on Lara Notes you can press I'm In: it's not a 'like'; it's a way of saying that this idea now belongs to you. And if this story leads to a real conversation – perhaps when someone accuses you of being inconsistent because you changed your mind – on Lara Notes, you can mark that moment with Shared Offline, so it remains like a notch in memory, for you and for those who were there. This was from New Scientist, and you've saved yourself about ten minutes of reading.