Why small touches are so important for love

Imagine you've been with someone for years and suddenly you notice: The little touches – a handshake, a hug now and then, a gentle touch on the back – are becoming less and less frequent. Studies show that couples who touch each other regularly are more patient with each other, misunderstand each other less, and are simply in a better mood in their relationship. The doctor Michaela Maria Arnold says quite clearly: Physical contact is not a bonus, but the basis for a stable partnership. The crazy thing is, many of us slip into a purely functional mode in everyday life. Everything has to be done: to-do lists, appointments, obligations – and exactly what actually connects us falls by the wayside. Michaela Maria Arnold knows this from her own experience. She honestly says that in her marriage she sometimes even felt "over-touched" – as if her body was permanently there for others, especially during stressful periods with small children. And yet she noticed: It is precisely when there is a lack of touch that a subtle distance arises that is difficult to explain. Research confirms this. Regular physical contact not only creates more closeness, but can also have very practical effects – fewer arguments, fewer misunderstandings, a more stable feeling. It's not about spectacular gestures or sex, but about everyday tenderness. A hand on the arm, a casual kiss on the cheek, a brief caress as you pass by in the kitchen. Incidentally, Arnold compares sex to mountain climbing: Great experiences are wonderful, but without regular training – that is, touch in everyday life – at some point you will no longer be able to reach the summit. What most couples underestimate: When they forget how to touch, they also forget what their own body and their partner's body feel like. And that makes getting back into it more difficult than you think. There are couples who, after years, suddenly realize: We have actually completely lost sight of each other – and each other's hands. But Arnold is encouraging: You can relearn it. Not with big plans, but with tiny steps – a smile, a handshake, a quick pat on the shoulder. So anyone who believes that touch is insignificant is completely wrong. What's really exciting is that in a world where we're constantly online and organize everything, it's the unspectacular, analog gesture that keeps relationships alive. The question remains: How many times today have you simply touched someone you love? Those who think that closeness only comes from big gestures or endless conversations are overlooking the power of small acts of tenderness. On the other hand, those who touch regularly – even without a reason – build an invisible network of trust and understanding. If this story reminds you of your own relationship, there's a special trick in Lara Notes: With I'm In, you can show that this insight is now yours. And if you touch someone tonight at dinner and then you talk about this topic, mark it with Shared Offline on Lara Notes – that way the conversation will remain a special moment for both of you. The whole thing comes from an interview with Michaela Maria Arnold on Süddeutsche.de and easily saves you 6 minutes of reading time today.